Lets Play Stalk the Cutie-Patootie

I have no clue who to vote for. I fill start voting at 18, but more importantly, I will start voting when my ignorance on the candidates fades away. What if we were in one of those “on a desert island” or “locked in a closet with people you prayed to god you  never die with” situations, what seems like the right thing to do? Panic? Elect a leader. If we don’t take that step first, then the bruised of the bunch will proclaim itself as dictator because he drank the moldy smoothie resembling liquid on the shelf which made him speak up.

Who would we chose to be the leader? The one who deserves it? The one who is gorgeous? The one who bribes?  If these people or things ran for or were elected, this is what I believe they bring to the table:

Babies: They are so adorable, they will people to agree with them, saving us some time with that because people can’t say o to babies.The problem here is getting things done. The instructions would be hard to understand as the baby is only in the “goo-goo gaa-gaa” stage.

Barbie: If no one can listen to each other, the Barbie plays is a method of playing out what is actually occurring in a “not up to scale” way.

Chair: We feel a closeness we would never feel with our president. They are like Santa, they let us sit on their laps.

The Crazy Guy: He is the one with the great ideas. He plots not disaster, but pure genius.

Girl Scout: Quality of a leader matters on two factors: 1. Whether she is a Daisy(no.) or Brownie(Yes!) 2. She has cookies on her. (This makes or breaks her)

The Guy with the Key: You must love this guy, keys are not just for opening doors, the are a weapon for jabbing, and people who have keys that don’t open the door they need open become angry and let out their anger most likely with their key and most definitely on you.

The Kid Who Knows Karate: If he can break coconuts open or kick down the door, choose him!

The One with the Chocolate Bar: He won’t be sharing it. Don’t get your hopes up.

Miss Universe: Gorgeous, check. Dress that can be a sense of warmth. Check. Entertainment. Check.  Definitely an excellent source of raw materials and entertainment.

Sock Puppets: Similar to Barbies  but sock puppets are loved by all, but especially the children and elderly.

The One with the Good Ideas: Don’t be fooled by this dud. We don’t need ideas, we need actions, and bribes.

P.S: Rules of life change in dire situations:

  1. The inanimate are equals to you  and I. Do not count them out of the election for our leader.
  2. The 3 second rule is abolished.
  3. It is okay to cry.
  4. It is not okay to kill, annoy, or whistle show tunes.
  5. Do not share your true feelings if you believe there is even a slight chance of rescue.
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