Look Needy Now!

Why have you reached this point in  which you need to portray desperation?

It was bound to happen anyway right?  It was foreshadowed after that odd feeling crept up your spine.

You were one cent too short, then you missed the bus one second too late and then you were one lottery number off and to then to abolish your last drop of optimism inside you, while buttoning up your shirt, the last button was missing.

Don’t even get me started on when you were tying your shoes and one shoe lace went M.I.A.

There are  two main components to pass as needy.

1. Purchase a pity posse.

Pity Posse only sold to needy. Since this day and age there are many cases of fraud, all applicants who placed a request are required to pass a background check , which brings me to the second component

2. Develop your character.

Once the person with the clip board comes to evaluate the “suckiness” of your life, you will not speak. Not until you are asked a question. When a conversation begins, dash shivers into the flow of the conversation take the attention away from your words and place it on your on your body. Your raggedy clothing should be the remains of a past event like a science bowl.The evaluator will assume that there is incredible intelligence hidden behind your mountains of humble pie.

Her connection to food is at its peak in her thoughts. This is your stomach’s cue to growl. Accompany the growl with an awkward grin  and chuckle followed by an apology and your head angled slightly down. Now the attention is on your frizzy hair.  Speak now. Share an unattainable dream  and how it stems from chain linked  traumatic events in your past. Your evaluator feels pity towards you and accepts your request for a pity posse.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s