Play of these comments with style:
“Is that broccoli in your teeth?”
Oh, I am saving that as a last bite when I am hungry later. Thanks for inviting me for dinner, It was delicious!
“Is that your fat I hear jiggling?”
Shh, It will hear you and get angry. You won’t like it when it is angry.
“When do you plan on paying for your own rent?”
Life is to short to worry about the bills. Life is about being with those you love, and you love me. Therefore you are obligated to pay for my survival.