Things I Should Mention Next Time We See Each Other.

…but won’t.

Why you ask?!?! 

Because:

Everyone Loves Surprises.

  • I need more cash because all the little you gave me, I already spent.
  • I’ve taken your identity as my own to buy this BRAND NEW CAR!!!
  • You know that thing you said not to tell another soul. Well you know me…slip of the tongue…
  • There is a bomb under your seat.
  • Speak up. This conversation is being monitored.
  • I’ve forged your signature countless times.
  • I left the gate open , letting your dog escape. I hate that dog.
  • Your pains that hurt like hell are a result from the numerous pricks I inflicted to your voodoo doll.
  • I never loved you.
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