It’s Just the Foulist, Most Gruesome Nightmare, Ever.

Hopefully, February 22 will be the day I attain my freedom a.k.a my license.

There are too many “Worst Case Scenario”s running through my head as the day creeps up. I fear some of the following:

  • Automatic Rescheduling due to my door’s refusal to open.
  • Other reasons for which my nightmare would become a reality would be if  my car gets stage fright. If it is for lack of gas or its nerves got the best of it, basically, I am screwed.
  • Cats, birds, or even crazy humans that decide to use this day to cross the street and attempt to defy nature will be the doomsday device which will never allow me to obtain a license.
  • I am almost certain that sending someone on an ambulance to the hospital is not an automatic pass, nothing near that improbable miracle.
  • The evaluator will turn out to be the reincarnation of a bug I killed who only seeks revenge.
  • Whether it by perfume, or my cotton fiber clothing, The evaluator will have an allergic reaction and puff up like Mrs. Puff.
  • February 22 is the day  I forget what is left and what is right.

The thing I do not worry about is my ability to  stop at a stop sign. I am the master of stop signs.

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Public Awareness Campaign: Just Say No, For the Love of God, Please.

rubbing feet:

Similar to coming in contact with garlic, the smell permeates the skin. Unlike garlic, feet do not leave an appetizing smell.

the creeps:

Kindness is something that should be practiced more often, but this cannot be done when a person pops your personal space bubble. In addition, they don’t really have candy.

the children:

These little boogers are not necessary to complete a lifespan. There is no actual need to be a mother, just a need to rule over a slave and take a person’s natural rights with the excuse of “because.”

the  moocher:

A once respectable friend who has the aspiration of being a bum.

the doctors:

How do they know?!?! As long as everyone else in the world gets the shot, I won’t need to.

the pressure brought on vampire adorers:

Team Garlic & Ringworm . WWIII is sure to be instigated by pop culture tensions.

the ads with tiny words that are useless to place on the commercial:

Its a scam.

the ads with asterisk next to free:

Its not free

closing you eyes and pet/eat this:

To agree to this is to agree to the possible loss of fingers, arm, or taste-buds.

a volunteer for an experimental drug:

The money is not worth all the side effects (i.e. death)

contracts:

They are the professional way of scamming people.

being all alone in the dark:

Your imagination will have enough of imagining killer clowns, floating roaches, monsters, ghosts, escaped convicts, or sideshow bob  and eat itself like your stomach when you starve yourself of the comfort of food.