C’mon, Just One More Thing?

What should go in our bags but just by fate or because of distractions does not.

Toothpicks: Self defence must always be keep warmed up in the brain as a thought. Toothpicks are the most economical and compact choice, when it comes to being safe. And if you went out for dinner at a steak house, the toothpick is great for dessert. YAY for Fiber!…Nay to polyester fibers!

Ruler: These things are your best pals as they are excellent when it comes to winning bets.  Be one with the ruler. Once spending enough time with the ruler, you will be able to tell the length of  any an object, ranging from one to twelve inches or one to 30 centimeters.

Gum: Bags need to have a built-in  special compartment that locks  up one strip of  gum and only opens when your breath secretes a smell that proves your breath has escalated to a code red status alert,  you have halitosis and need a quick fix. Gum is the edible, but not recommended to be ingested, duct tape.

The Golden Rule: Finders Keepers

Its a very common occurrence that money appears right next to me when I wake up in the mornings. At first a smile is born on my sleepy face as I say to myself “FINDERS KEEPERS!”(Golden rule since childhood). Then all these ideas begin to develop on Andrew Jackson’s and I date, where I plan to leave him and take home something better. If not, the drive home is going top be awkward. I could spend him on something for my sweet tooth(sweet teeth, all teeth enjoy the sweet stuff), go watch a movie and spend the majority of my money on overpriced food once again.No! I will sneak in food in my bad. Ahh, those moments when you realize being a girl was just meant to be.

Then an idea shakes you like a piggy bank you know is hiding something from you. You have no proof the money is yours. The brother comes in and immediately spots your newly inherited currency and claims it as his own. I play it off easy so not to seem like the weakling and make come up with something witty to say such as:

The Tooth Fairy just wanted to drop off a little something for not losing anymore teeth at this age. She said something about the olden days and her first days on the job and toothless teenagers. She also began to rant about people dying from swallowing their dentures and suffocating because they have never seen those denture glue commercials, unlike me.(It shouldn’t be this way!)