Dear Mr. Christmas Tree,
I wasn’t very good to you. I didn’t water you or decorate you. I just placed you in a corner for two weeks like a toddler on “extended” time out. And yet, YOU JUST WON’T DIE. You’ve been here since 2012. I thought you were leaving today while I was at school. It’s over. I wish you would just leave already!
P.S. Here is a visual if the message doesn’t get across
Its time I tell Mr.ChristmasTree he’s got to go. He leaves a never ending mess and I’m not very fond of the vacuum, who decided one day to eat my money. Sure, it was my idea. Not actually, Society brought this burden upon me. Its like when you see outside a grocery store a box full of puppies being sold.You want to take one home, make your parents pay, dress the thing up, but not clean after it. Additionally, the slowly-dieing-in-the-corner-of-my-living-room-Mr.ChristmasTree is a real downer. After the tree is gone I hope to adopt either a little pumpkin or a cactus that I saw at the farmer’s market.
Sparkly. Big. Beautiful. With a history I’d rather not hear. Lets start out fresh. Natural. Smelly. In a good way though. Green with Chloroplasts that are near death. Ticking time bombs. Then the tree will be brown. Unwanted. On the curb. (which isn’t really that curby) Next to the trash can. Then nowhere in sight. Lasted only a month. Longest. Relationship. Ever.