The Infamous Valedictorian Speech

I want to tell you guys I don’t hate you anymore. It’s true, for a very long time, I despised you all. But things have changed. I’ve gotten older. I’ve matured. And, most importantly, you guys have matured. You aren’t as freaking annoying as you have been in the past. I mean, jeez, you guys were horrible! You smelled bad, couldn’t walk in a straight line, and couldn’t talk quietly for your lives! I’m surprised everyday that I survived that…that Hell! Excuse my French, but it’s true. Harsh truth is always important. And, anyway, you guys HAVE improved…slightly. So I forgive you guys. For the most part. Maybe, in a couple of years, when I am legally allowed to drink, and I drink a few too many appletinis, I will reveal the burning hatred I still hold for you guys to an uninterested bartender. But, for now, I am repressing that hatred. I feel almost neutral toward you guys. It’s a beautiful thing. It really is. Anywho, it looks like the principal is frantically waving at me to get off the stage. I wonder why. Well…have fun in the rest of your lives. I know I will! See y’all at the 20th reunion. Adios!

*YAWN* Here is the Morning News

Not one of my best mornings.

Eyes closed. Yet feeling something patting my back. In a few seconds, my imagination went wild and I thought I as about to be killed.

…It was just my mom putting an extra blanket today…I freaked out.

Yelled at by mother for the “unappreciative” reaction.

Sleeping on the floor feels better than sleeping on my bed. Very BAD

Threw away the trash. Again my imagination got the best of me and it took me a moment to build up the courage and open up the trash bin’s lid. That murderer could have possibly been hiding there.

Ate breakfast. Still afraid.

ZombieGirl signing off!

Good-Bye, Mr. Christmas Tree.

Dear Mr. Christmas Tree,

I wasn’t very good to you. I didn’t water you or decorate you. I just placed you in a corner for two weeks like a toddler on “extended” time out. And yet,  YOU JUST WON’T DIE. You’ve been here since 2012. I thought you were leaving today while I was at school. It’s over. I wish you would just leave already!

Adios,

Daisy

P.S. Here is a visual if the message doesn’t get across

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